The GAD
Mood:  spacey
Now Playing: NPR
Well, it truly is a Prozac nation. I was freakin out and went to the doctor. He was nice. He gave me a diagnosis of generalized anxiety disorder. Bob has the Mad Cow and now I have the GAD. Good news is, he gave me Valium. Lovin' the Valium. It is like getting drunk except I don't have to get up and get a beer and drink it so slow that it is warm. Bad news is I feel like I am going to throw up all the time and am very tired. So, I don't exactly know which is better, feeling like I can climb the walls with my spidy sense and imagining myself in a straight jacket or feeling like my real place in life is using the toilet for a pillow.

I got an air plant today. I was a little skeptical about the whole idea of a plant that just lived off air, but I got one anyways. Well, I was right, and am quite frankly a little pissed off about the whole ordeal. Apparently, it isn't a plant at all, it is a piece of coral, ripped out of the ocean (it's home) dyed green and put into a pot where it won't grow, because it isn't a plant. He is rather cute though, so I am going to keep him and name him Wendell. Maybe someday I will return him to his home in the ocean.

I do get awfully lonely at this office job, so I have been getting really good at trying to make friends with the people that call in. I had a very interesting talk with a pen salesman today. He sells pens over the phone all day long. He used to be a taxi driver but people kept telling him that he really had a face for radio so he tried that. Turns out he's got the voice of a salesman. I told him I would buy a pen, but my extra money now goes to having an ample supply of Valium.

There is more than one way to shave a cat
Mood:  caffeinated
Now Playing: Across the Universe, Beatles
Topic: Naked Chin Dance
Oh Canada, Oh Canada. My B friend and my Kevin friend have track marks. Odd in Wyoming, I know. I think they have a problem. I first thought, heroine. Then I realized they were entranced by the Plasma jingle on the radio, which then made them become extremly addicted to donating plasma. I admit, it is a catchy jingle, but no catchy enough to have track marks. I mean, it is fun at parties to play connect the track marks, but not that much fun. I mean it is a close second to Crisco Twister. It actually all started at the bar one night, the Bio-Life guy was there, trying to recruit and I asked the man, so cleverly named, "Bob", " Why don't you donate plasma?" He said he couldn't because he lived in Europe for awhile, so he could, I repeat, could have the Mad Cow disease. So, then I got drunk and shouted across the bar, "Bob has the Mad Cow." Oh yeah, I made Kevin shave his chin pubes. He looks like a newborn Wallaby. Ha eat that Bob.

I'm back...
Mood:  special
Now Playing: Let it Be, Beatles
Topic: What?





Well, I have been away for awhile, but I had to sit down and think of something new and exciting? You see, I had this ephipony the other night, partly due to the pot I had just smoked, partly due to the 24 pack of Budweiser I had just drank? I am boring, I have a boring life, and I came to this conclusion because I really have nothing better to do than watch Jeopardy? So, Alex and I have formed this huge bond and now, to simply amuse myself and annoy others, I have decided to talk in the form of a question to all stuffy bums around me? You see, you can never be at fault when making fun of someone or talking behind your boss's back next to the water cooler, because even though obvious to you, everyone just thinks that you are in fact a very inquisitive person? ex:)

Me: "Did you see what Mr. Pecker was wearing today?"
Jim: "No what was it?"
Me: "What is a reindeer cardigan?"
Jim: "ha ha."

If you have a lot of spare time, you can even carry around your own score sheet.

For a hundred points, who is cooler, mustache Alex or clean shaved Alex?

All though my life is a miserable sham right now, I must admit, all and all I am still a cool chic with a hot ass.

V is for Vagina
Mood:  lazy
Now Playing: NPR
Topic: Polvo Blanco


First off, Harrington, after much deliberation with the NVC (National Vagina Coaliton), I have finally found the answer you were looking for, if I remember right. The term Pussy was derived from the word Pussycat, which is British slang, and means a harmless person. It originated in the 40's and was actually, much to my surprise, first used in referring to harmless people(such as woman were in the 40's), not to the feline nature. Also derived from Pussycat: Pussy Willow, Puss, Pussy Magnet, and the oh so popular Pussy Whipped.

Also, Harrington, go visit http://lolipop.jp, made me think of you. Actually scared the bloody crap right out of me also. Oh, Bugger off.

Fourthapalooza...
Mood:  celebratory
Now Playing: Down Around the Corner, CCR
Topic: Rockets Red Glare
I went to an arena football game on the 4th of July. Quite entertaining. I had front row tickets. It's very interesting, it is like football only the field is the size of your living room. They even had a miniature blimp. I just kept expecting my mom to come in and say, "Stop throwing the ball in the house, take your helmet off in the living room, quit pulling your brother's hair."



I also got the unique experience of listening to a rap concert, and let me tell you, after 12 beers, everything had a little melody to it. The boy didn't even resemble a giant penis once the entire evening. I'm quite glad actually. You don't know how embarrassing it is to walk around with a 6 foot penis.

I have hired a butler. He is not a real butler. But like all good butlers, his name is Jeffrey. This is quite amusing, when your in a public place, and you yell loudly, "Jeffrey, get me some lemonade. Jeffrey, I'm not paying you to look at the cheerleaders."

I fell into a burning ring of casper...
Mood:  bright
Now Playing: Tropicalia, Beck
Topic: 38+
I decided no one (Mr. French) is getting the relationship thing. I have a boyfriend. I just want to cheat on him, see. Read commandment number 9 my friends. And the other problem is that my boyfriends last name is the same as Dubba Ya's (hope I got that right) so, here is the list of names I couldn't name my unborn children (if I liked the little monsters):

1. Acacia
2. Rose
3. Richard (Dick)
4. Harold (Harry)

So, I talked to Aidan yesterday. He was rambling on about how significant his prescence is in the world. I agreed. Without him in my life, my middle name wouldn't be Danger. Plus, he is awfully adorable. He is so adorable, I probably just made him up. I am such a crazy bitch sometimes. Jeffrey, hand me my Prozac.

oMg..sUiCide is so hella cool...lol...
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: Gravedigger, Dave Matthews
Topic: Ode to the Gallows



I would like to start off by saying that I would probably be a lot better of if I had a few Indians under my belt right now.

Now onto the subject at hand, I was recently cruisin around the internet and dropped by to see a sight that looked, well, let's just say I hid under my desk for an hour in the fetal position with my thumb in my mouth. I would like to insert a peice of this commendable work so you can get a taste of the kind of things that are going on in the internet. Makes you think twice about adopting a highway.

Get READY:

@ Jenna`s--Gnarlllyyyy
Mood: not sure
Now Playing: Until The Day I Die--Soty
Topic: Yeya* Whatever
Yeah im @ jennas partayyyy! =/ i guess i dont really feel good thats why im writing in this cuz i have nothing better to do =( who cares?...not me! ok yeah ur being really gay and i dont know if i like u anymore =/ blah whatever. GuYs ArE rEtArDeD!! =] anywaysss tho. haha we were on the radio.. well i was? lol it was illlll biaatchh! actually it wasn't haha but whatever- im kinnnndaaa famous! dude-- warped will b sooo funn this summerrrr dangittt i cant wait lol... WOOHOO! ahha yeah!!! OOKAayy well im out bizzatchh cuz we got better things 2do--*KiNdA* =] [[PeAcE]]* xOxO

NiNikUpEnDa [2]-- =-*

Monday, 28 June 2004
Boreeddddd!
Mood: a-ok
Now Playing: Martina McBride-- Concrete Angel
Topic: [not*much]>>*blahhhh!
I'm really bored- so yeah thats why i'm writing in this! =] ughh.. people have been so damn gay lately and it pisses me off. Thats beside the fact that me and my best friend since 2nd grade aren't speaking. =/ whatever tho. oh btw: some ppl care who i like a little 2 much-- kinda like its their decision or some shit?? yeahhhhh how bout not. Ha. When u decide 2 have the least bit of maturity then u can talk to me other than that u can fuck off! =] glad we got that straight! Mmk! I'm out-- Latorrrr! NiNiKuPeNdA [1] =] xOoXxo!
Thursday, 24 June 2004
Yeah...
Mood: lazy
Now Playing: Anthem Of Our Dying Day--Soty
Topic: asdkfhagjk>>BLAH*
@ kristys were big []D[][]V[][]D[][]\[]* faaa shoooo!....yeah weve done basically nothing all of today cept we had a picnic on the trampoline!!!! =] haha yeah it was funnnn 2 =P Dude. haha Some people are really gay these days! hm yeah but uhh i guess were goingg 2 the pool 2marrow to see david lol yeah! =]Anywayssss im out NiNikUpEnDa*[1] =]

<3 Love Always,
jC



Yeah, someone actually wrote that. I'm disgusted. Hand me my Valium, Jeffrey. I'm going to bed.

Northwest of Disorder
Mood:  amorous
Now Playing: Clarity, John Mayer
Topic: Old Spice


I have come to the conclusion that Americans don't have enough profiling. I think that people should have to wear certain scents according to their age. I beleive that men that are 40+ should have to wear Old Spice. It would make the dating game a whole lot easier. And maybe, all cowboys should have to wear Stetson. This would make it easier for me to pick out men. Stalkers could wear Obsession. Strippers wear Cocoa Butter. Guys under 18 should just have to wear baby lotion. That way I don't get caught up in the moment on someone's Star Wars sheets.

You better lava me now or lava me not...
Mood:  on fire
Now Playing: Volcano, Jimmy Buffet
Topic: Monsoon Come...


I would like to start off by saying I am smiling today. the main reason I am smiling is that I don't have a volcano in my tummy. Doesn't it look painful? Poor little monster. I know how he can get the volcano out of his tummy though, I think the tool at the bottom should be used.

That is a texas chainsaw mommy.



















Johnny's in the basement
Mixing up the medicine
I'm on the pavement
Thinking about the government
The man in the trench coat
Badge out, laid off
Says he's got a bad cough
Wants to get it paid off
Look out kid
It's somethin' you did
God knows when
But you're doin' it again
You better duck down the alley way
Lookin' for a new friend
The man in the coon-skin cap
In the big pen
Wants eleven dollar bills
You only got ten

Maggie comes fleet foot
Face full of black soot
Talkin' that the heat put
Plants in the bed but
The phone's tapped anyway
Maggie says that many say
They must bust in early May
Orders from the D. A.
Look out kid
Don't matter what you did
Walk on your tip toes
Don't try "No Doz"
Better stay away from those
That carry around a fire hose
Keep a clean nose
Watch the plain clothes
You don't need a weather man
To know which way the wind blows

Get sick, get well
Hang around a ink well
Ring bell, hard to tell
If anything is goin' to sell
Try hard, get barred
Get back, write braille
Get jailed, jump bail
Join the army, if you fail
Look out kid
You're gonna get hit
But users, cheaters
Six-time losers
Hang around the theaters
Girl by the whirlpool
Lookin' for a new fool
Don't follow leaders
Watch the parkin' meters

Ah get born, keep warm
Short pants, romance, learn to dance
Get dressed, get blessed
Try to be a success
Please her, please him, buy gifts
Don't steal, don't lift
Twenty years of schoolin'
And they put you on the day shift
Look out kid
They keep it all hid
Better jump down a manhole
Light yourself a candle
Don't wear sandals
Try to avoid the scandals
Don't wanna be a bum
You better chew gum
The pump don't work
'Cause the vandals took the handles

-Bob Dylan, Subterranean Homesick Blues

Fraggle Days Gone By...
Mood:  hug me
Now Playing: All Apologies, Nirvana
Topic: Down in Fraggle Rock